"ART: article title "

"QUESTION: "I'm in a difficult situation at work that I hope you could help me with. I am a medical professional and have been working at my present company for only a short time. I have a subordinate that refuses to thoroughly train anyone in her department, and I believe it is because she doesn't want anyone to "take over" her job. It seems as though she enjoys having other people coming to her when there is a problem (i.e., computer glitches, policies, etc.) because she thrives on the attention and the feeling that she's indispensable. This becomes a problem for our department when she takes the day off or when she has a vacation, because it paralyzes progress when a problem arises. I have confronted her about this on several occasions, to no avail. Do you have any suggestions that will help me interact with her succcessfully? Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thank you."

Because you are relatively new in your organization, and find yourself dealing with this subordinate without the necessary prerequisite of a cooperative relationship. Your choices are to get angry, get going, get used to it, or get flexible enough to blend and then, only then, redirect to your desired outcome.

I would be interested in knowing a bit more about what 'confronting her about this' means. Nevertheless, I think I can offer you some help.

What exactly is the outcome that you want with this subordinate? I encourage you to make every effort to define this for yourself, not in terms of what you don't want, but rather what you do want, as specifically as you possibly can. I believe that this little exercise in languaging is the beginning of wisdom for you. Although your concerns about the negative effects of her behavior are completely understandable, confronting her is likely to decrease her desire to cooperate with you. It may, in fact, have the negative effect of de-motivating her to even listen to you or consider the positive intent of what you are trying to say .

2 communication strategies come to mind that be helpful for you in dealing with this subordinate, IF you blend first (see earlier message about this in this string) 1) Pygmalion Power...."Cindy (or whatever her name is), this isn't like you. You're smart enough to recognize the benefit to yourself and to the organization of training your people. I find this situation very difficult to understand. What's going on? Then actively listen, ask questions, do not argue, help her to fully express whatever it is that is motivating her behavior without adding your own hallucinations to it.

2. Gentle Confrontation....
a) Describe the problem behavior ( not the personality, not your opinions, just the specifics of the problem
b) Describe the consequences of the behavior, from your point of view...organizational consequences, interpersonal consequences, and personal consequences to her if the behavior were to continue
c) tell the truth about how you feel about it...frustrated, angry, whatever the emotion is that motivated you to write your letter to me! Don't exaggerate, but be completely honest about your feeling reaction to this problem
d) You can either make a suggestion for the alternative behavior (who, what, where, when, how) or ask her what she could do differently in the future to deal with the situation (this is a judgement call, trust your instincts on what you believe would be more effective)
e) Thank her for her time and let her know how you expect the future to be different as a result of the conversation.

Ask Siggy the Shrink