"ART: Hostility BBS "

QUESTION: "I am somewhat new to the online community but I have noticed that responses to opinions on various bullentine boards get hositile very quickly. I when I subscribed to online services I looked forward to exploring ideas about subjects I care about with lots of different people. Often, though, I see that someone will post an opinion and the next response is an attack, followed by an attack on the attack, etc. Since this is not what I thought I was signing up for I end up not participating and only scanning the bb's on the off chance that I can pick up some piece of useful information. Do you have an insight into this?
From: Mr. Mass"

It seems to me that our whole society has become more polarized and adversarial in the past few years, with less of an interest in civil discussion and an honest debate of the issues that face us than there is in being right about who is wrong. Add to this that people have online personalities that, in many cases, are unfettered by any social constraints and shaped by the seeming anonymity of the virtual community. Sudden heat is the inevitable result of decreased inhibitions. It's probably a good thing too, because in many cases people vent the steam safely online instead of doing a slow burn and then taking it home to dump on their families.

Since you have an interest in exploring ideas with different people, and since conflict is based on amplified differences, in a sense the online community presents you with a tremendous opportunity to explore your ideas with people when they are being MOST different!

I'm of the opinion that very little in this world is all black or white. I see every issue as a sort of beachball, which from one side looks yellow, white and green, and from another looks red, white and blue. You don't have to polarize when others do. You can, instead, accept the sometimes juvenile, inflexible and even paranoid quality of bulletin board communications. And, rather than just scanning, you always have the choice of setting an example by your own behavior. Let others unwind while you pick and choose where and when and with whom you want to talk. You may find that the more polarized others get, the more you'll have the opportunity to see what you really think, and to explore extreme points of view. You may even find that it can be great fun to walk untouched amid the flames!

Ask Siggy the Shrink