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TABLE OF CONTENTS |
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| ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS INTRODUCTION PART I: GETTING TO KNOW THE PEOPLE YOU CAN’T STAND An Overview Of Who They Are, What They Do, And Why They Behave So Badly Chapter 1 - THE 10 MOST UNWANTED LIST: We identify 10 specific behaviors that represent people at their worst! Chapter 2 - THE LENS OF UNDERSTANDING: We focus a magnifying glass on behaviors, to discover the motives behind them. Chapter 3 - THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS We reveal how thwarted intent produces behaviors that make people difficult to deal with. PART II: SURVIVING THROUGH SKILLFUL COMMUNICATION Prevent Conflicts And Resolve Problems Before They Get Out Of Hand Chapter 4 - FROM CONFLICT TO COOPERATION United we stand, but divided we can’t stand each other, because conflict occurs when the emphasis is on differences. Reducing differences can turn conflict into cooperation. Chapter 5 - LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND When two or more people want to be heard and no one is willing to listen, an argument is inevitable. Listen and understand first, and you unlock the doors to people’s minds. Chapter 6 - REACH A DEEPER UNDERSTANDING: Sometimes the most important and useful elements of communication are hidden, not just from the listener, but from the speaker as well. Identify these to get a positive outcome. Chapter 7 - SPEAK TO BE UNDERSTOOD: What you say to people can produce defensiveness or trust, increase resistance or cooperation, promote conflict or understanding. Learn these ounces of prevention! Chapter 8 - GET WHAT YOU PROJECT AND EXPECT It’s a fact that people rise or fall to the level of your expectations and projections. Use these projection strategies to motivate your problem people to change themselves. PART III: BRINGING OUT THE BEST IN PEOPLE AT THEIR WORST Specific Goals and Action Steps For Dealing With The 10 Most Unwanted Chapter 9 - The TANK: Pushy and ruthless, loud and forceful, or with the quiet intensity and surgical precision of a laser, the end justifies the means. Expect no mercy from the Tank. Chapter 10 - The SNIPER: This covert operator identifies your weaknesses and uses them against you, through sabotage behind your back or well-aimed put-downs in front of the crowd. Chapter 11 - The KNOW-IT-ALL: This person knows 98% of anything. Just ask! The Know-It-All will tell you what they know - for hours at a time- but won’t take a second to listen to your clearly inferior ideas. Chapter 12 - The THINK-THEY-KNOW-IT-ALL: This character doesn’t know much, but doesn’t let that get in the way. Exaggerating, bragging, misleading and distracting, this legend-in-their-own mind pulls you off track. Chapter 13 - The GRENADE: When they blow their top, they’re unable to stop, and shrapnel hits everyone in range. Then the smoke clears,the dust settles, and the cycle begins building to critical mass again. Chapter 14 - The YES Person: Quick to agree,slow to deliver, the Yes Person leaves a trail of unkept commitments and broken promises. Though it pleases no-one, Yes-people over commit in order to please! Chapter 15 - The MAYBE person: When faced with a crucial decision, they keep putting it off until it’s too late. But there comes a point when the decision makes itself. Then it’s nobody’s default but their own. Chapter 16 - The NOTHING Person: You won’t know what’s going on because they tell you ‘Nothing!’ No verbal feedback. No non-verbal feedback. They seal their mouths and stare past you as if you're not there. Chapter 17 - The NO Person: They say that “What goes up must come down.” And what comes down must never be allowed to get back up again. Doleful and discouraging, they drive others to despair Chapter 18 - The WHINER: There’s a plan for their life, but they’re not in it. Instead, they wallow in their woe, whine incessantly, and carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. PART III Cont’d Chapter 19 - OOPS!, IT’S ME. By now you may have recognized that you too have days when you are at your worst. So what can you do about it? Find the answer in this exchange of letters. AFTERWORD How to take the big step of applying the little steps in this book. Appendix: ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENTS Need the courage to stand your ground when you want to run, or to step forward in the face of determined opposition? Get an attitude adjustment when you need one! |
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